Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Things I Can't Wait For...

Lots of changes have occurred in my lil life over the past several months and many more are to come. Some things I'm excited about...

1) Lunch. I'm hungry.
2) Going to the beach with W...maybe in April or as soon as it gets warm.
3) Having my name legally changed to Boren.
4) My COBRA insurance to kick in.
5) Dinner. Because after lunch I'll be hungry again.
6) To move into our new little home on Saturday.
7) Playing bananagrams with the fam. It's so fun! PEEL
8) My car to be cleaned out. Still waiting on the fairy.
9) To get back into my wardrobe groove, I've been feeling out of touch lately.
10) To meet our baby in August :)

Yes, it's true!!!!!! I know I'm supposed to wait til after 3 months but I have less than a week to go and I just can't hold it anymore. We are sosososososo excited about this miracle!!!! I'm sure it has been suspected by most people b/c of our quick marriage and honestly that IS why we got married so quickly. It's in no way WHY we got married but I wanted him to be part of every moment and we love each other in a way that I can not explain or even fathom. We decided from the beginning that we would be open about everything b/c a) we are not ones to run from our mistakes and b) we want everyone to realize how real this is and how easy it happens.
Before William and I even started dating, he expressed to me his beliefs on waiting until marriage. I of course agreed and felt comfort knowing that "if" down the road we dated, we would be united on that. But if you put yourself in a situation where it COULD happen, Satan will work his way in any way he can and take over your thoughts and eventually your actions. It was one time and after it happened, we were both overcome with guilt. So much so that it was hard to address it but we did, and decided that God in us was so much stronger than this battle and we would fight to push through it. So we never really talked about it after that...and it never even crossed my mind that I could be pregnant b/c "it was only one time", and with Chiari and the way it affects the pituitary gland, I had written off having children all together. I'd been on fertility treatments in the past and nothing. So, it wasn't until I shared with my girlfriend some "symptoms" I was having that I started to panic. I told William and he brought over a pregnancy test that night. He told me he wanted us to look at it together so as I was laying it on the bathroom floor, I was opening the door and did a faceplant into it. The Plus sign showed up within seconds. I cried and cried and said "nononoooooo" but he held me and was so strong and even had a smile on his face. Although we both new we had made a mistake, he could already appreciate the blessing. Yes, I understood the miracle but what was my family going to say?? I absolutely can not tell them. The next morning i went to a friend of ours who is a nurse practitioner and she did blood work to confirm that I was in fact pregnant. So I immediately changed my mindset and attitude and was overwhelmed with strength from no one but Jesus. I contacted a precious friend who I don't think I could have done it without. She gave me the best advice and really helped me through that first day. First I called my sister. I look up to her so much and I was more nervous about telling her. Not only would she be disappointed but I had promised HER that I would wait until I was married. She told me later that she was relieved when I told her what was wrong b/c I was so hysterical on the phone she thought someone had died or something. After that, I decided to write a letter to my parents, and W and I would go over there that evening and give it to them. I told my mom we needed to talk and when we got there she immediately knew something was big. She hugged me and we all sat down. She noticed the bandaid on my hand from my blood work and she pretty much knew. What happened next I will never understand or forget. She had tears in her eyes and said "I don't love you ANY less, I am so proud of both of you and think it took so much courage for you both to come here" and she hugged us both and held our hands. She told us she already loved that baby. My dad was sick so he couldn't get too close but he did not have the reaction of anger that I thought he would. He smiled, said of course he was disappointed in the way that it happened but that it was a true miracle especially with my condition and that they would support us in any way they could. Wow. That made us cry even more. The unconditional love....I have never experienced it so real. My friend that helped me through, had said she had gotten a glimpse of what God's love is like for Jesus and at that moment, I got it! After that, I was FINALLY excited!!!!!!!!!!!! His family was thrilled and we could really let ourselves feel the joy. I realized that all along, I wasn't worried about what people would think of ME, I deserve any negativity I receive but I was heartbroken over what my parents might half to endure. They are such Godly parents and raised us so well but this was MY choice and MY mistake. But they had no fear of that whatsoever.
Now I am 11 weeks and 3 days. The baby is the size of a large lime and I have been sick every minute of every day. Some days are worse than over but ALL of it is more than worth it. W is soooo incredible. He thanks me all day every day for going through this for our baby and him being a massage therapist, I get special prenatal treatments every day. I really am so so blessed. I've got lots more to talk about so I'm sure my half of this blog will be baby central. :)
I know this is a shock even if you did suspect it. I completely understand and respect all the disappointment but at this point we are celebrating this miracle and anticipating his or her arrival. :)

Monday, January 25, 2010


the boys aren't aloud to get out of bed before 7:00 a.m.
today tyler woke up at 7:01, jonathan slept a little longer
it was yellow outside this morning and it rained
the boys and i went to the grocery store this morning
chic fil a has free breakfast every weekday the whole month of january where we live
today we had chicken biscuits, last week we went on wednesday and it was chicken minis
jonathan made crumbs in the car so he had to vacuum them
tylers is in his nap so i'm trying to get the housecleaning done but my sister's threat made me blog
the skirt steak is marinating in the fridge
having a family over for dinner tonight for steak fajitas, shrimp and chocolate cake

dear kristi,

if you stop blogging, i am going to post the video of all your awesome hairstyles that you got done at the mall 20 years ago. kapeesh?

yours truly,

Sunday, January 24, 2010

dear kimberly :)

Dear Kimberly,

I just don't think this blog thing is working for me.
Maybe we should change the name and i'll just be a guest once a month or something? :)
But while i'm here i'll do a random 10 thoughts.....

1. would really like to adopt a haitian baby girl
- steven said that if i can go a whole week without getting overwhelmed with out current children he might consider
2. we had freezing weather a week ago, unsual
- a lot of farmers lost their crop
3. homeschooling is so far a good experience
- really want to continue doing this but i must have encouragement
4. we are going to colorado thursday to see stevens family. it's been 1 year 4 months since we've been
- we get to ski
5. tyler and jonathan love each other and have a very special relationship
- i love to listen to them when they are playing in their room
6. i cannot believe super bowl tickets are so expensive. stupid!!
- seriously ridiculous
7. there was a crazy man at church today
- he needs Jesus!
8. running the disney marathon next january
- currently can barely run down the street
9. i miss my family
- having an awesome husband makes it okay to be far away
10. friday i had a kidney stone and it came out at the hospital
- worst one yet, so glad it's over, never want to experience that kind of pain again

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

the wedding

Well, if you've seen my facebook, you've noticed my last name has changed. Crazy huh? Not really, let me tell you our story...

I met W last September while he was subbing for another instructor at the Pilates studio I go to. I was very intrigued by him and impressed with his passion/knowledge but didn't see him again. June of this past year is when things really started going south for me. I had moved out and not sure what was going to happen. I switched my Pilates schedule and found myself in W's class every Friday morning. One weekend, I had an event or something and needed a little extra boost in my workout, so I requested a private session to be scheduled with any of 3 instructors. He was the one that could do it. He still remembers me walking across the parking lot and I remember being a little nervous but then really comfortable. I briefly told him about some restrictions I had due to Chiari and then shared my frustration with never getting relief. He thought he could help me as he is a mesical massage therapist. The first time was only $55 and if it did help, would be WELL worth it. I scheduled my appt and went for my first visit. That hour changed my life. I couldn't even feel my head because I had gotten that much relief. I cried b/c I was so overwhelmed that there was HOPE. He explained to me what the process would be to really get on the road to healing and I eagerly signed up. In those sessions, I really opened up to him b/c I knew that due to client confidentiality, he couldn't say anything to anyone. It was like emotional therapy and he at the same time opened up to me about himself. In just a few short months, I felt like I had a this amazing gift and didn't know what in the world I did to deserve it. Of course knowing my situation, he never charged me for the sessions and he also had 2 other therapists work on me (I later found out that HE was paying but it told me then that it was for research!) I always thought he was amazing but I had already declared to many people that I could never ever get married again and didn't even want to date...ever again. So, I tried to set him up with people I knew but he was never interested. I found out later that he was waiting for me and that he had loved me so much during those times he got to know my heart. When he did ask me out, i was surprised that I wanted to say yes! I talked to my mom about it and she said GO! So I did and it was sooooo great!! So much fun and so comfortable. Once I got over my stubborn attitude about never being with anyone, I felt so much joy. I thought that there was a rule everyone expects of you. You have to be alone and sad and miserable for "x" amount of time and THEN you can move on. But why should I have to be sad and feel sorry for myself when I have this incredible gift waiting for me? So I swallowed my pride and fear of what others thought and have been so so happy ever since. One of the things I love about him the very most is that he is HUNGRY...for spiritual growth, professional growth, personal growth. He's not lazy and has the passion for knowledge and understanding. He is an amazing communicator...which sometimes makes it impossible to "win" an argument but we have truly become a team and why would you want your team mate to lose?? I love us because things aren't always perfect, we've been through a lot in this short time, but it's the way we get through them and grow from them that makes me feel so confident that this is who I am meant to be with. Thank you thank you God!!!
So, we knew we wanted to get married and we wanted to elope, no fuss, just us and our vows to each other. At the last minute, we decided New Years Eve and we hopped in the car and drove to Ft. Myers, FL. My brother in law, Steven would marry us and my sister and nephews would be there. His lifelong friend, Richard aka "Dr. Giggles" hopped on a plane from Nashville and came to stand by him. My dress came in THAT morning and I got ready with my sister. After we got the okay from W, we headed out to the beach. HE was late :) We all walked out there and found our spot and Steven did an AMAZING job with the ceremony. We said our vows and then Jonathan gave W my ring. It was the perfect ring for me. We had an artist in Florida design and create it for us. It's called a "spinner ring". It's a wide silver hammered band with 7 gold spinner bands around it. We also had his rings made by an artist in Canada. It's a leather band...sooo him. BUT, it didn't come in in time for the ceremony so we just pretended. :) It's here now though and so cool. After we kissed and were announced, we heard lots of clapping and realized a circle of people had gathered around us. It was great! My dress was perfect b/c it just blew in the wind and it was okay for it to get dirty. We were sooooo happy and couldn't stop smiling :) It was SOOO real and perfect and what we'd waited for. We had a great lunch with the group and then headed back home. I think it really hit when we stopped for the night and got ONE hotel room.
I now work with him at his clinic and it is ammmmazing. It's just he and I until we bring on a couple more therapists within the next couple of months. We are looking at homes but may rent for about a year until we are for sure what and where we want. Definitely NOT my rat apartment. Stay tuned :)
PS, leave a comment b/c we thought NOONE was reading...I did this post JUST for you Lindz :)