Youngest first?

i thought kristi should go first cuz she's older but then it would be an empty blog forever and ever. sooo...

i obviously haven't blogged in a while and as a lot of people know and a lot of people don't know, i've recently gone through a major storm and life change. i've decided to be honest and open this time when i'm writing instead of sugar coating and making everything seem perfect. however, i'm not going to go into detail and slander the man that i vowed to spend my life with. the Lord knows what our story is and i will be naturally judged regardless of whether or not i share it, so i have chosen for several reasons not to share it. i am healing and full of joy because i know that the Lord has great things in store for me, His daughter. God has never been more real to me than right now. it is unforunate that it took something like this to cause me to seek Him like never before, to cling to Him as my only hope, to lay all of my burdens and anxiety at His feet..but i am here now and have never felt more secure in my faith. i want to live only for His purpose. I was reading this morning in my devotion, "I am beside you. A very human Jesus, who understands all your weaknesses, and sees too your struggles and conquests." He knows every emotion i have felt, when i wanted to just give up, but i had to name my fears, my anxietys, my questions before i began to heal. i wanted so bad just to hold it all in..i thought it would just go away. it tore me up physically, i developed a bleeding stomach ulcer and started having panic attacks but i still couldn't give it up. but once i finally got on my knees (literally) before God and named everything that i was scared of and the things that were making me sick with worry, i saw changes immediately begin to happen. i knew He was there all along, i felt His presence but it wasn't until i asked for and accepted His power that i was completely washed in His love. beautful, amazing love and grace.

i'm now excited about my next season. i have a new job. the main thing my company does is lease aircraft. it's different but really interesting. i've met a lot of really good people and i've learned a lot in a short time. so, we'll see....

i turn 26 tomorrow. i'm looking forward to a new year. christmas is so soon but i refuse to look at it negatively, i will be surrounded by the people i love and that love me. i won't feel sorry for myself, or even begin to go down that road. i'm not the reason for christmas, Jesus is and that's what i'll celebrate.

i hope i blog a lot. i hope someone reads it.

kristi's turn.